All posts filed under: Body & Mind

Full Moon Meditation

Tonight, the night of the full moon, I meditate. Lying in a circle of mostly strangers in the grass. In a park above the ocean. Cool and breezy. My sweater wrapped around my body. Listening to our leader’s cues, imagining my body filled with light and energy, grounded to the earth. I breath in deeply, then exhale, allowing my thoughts to settle, being gentle with myself. I open my eyes and let them settle on the dark blue sky above me, allowing my body to sink into the soft grass. When was the last time I lay in the grass and stared at the sky? In the cool night air? The sound of the waves filling my ears? Soaking in the beauty of this moment, I am calm and at peace. And happy. And filled with love.

I don’t understand …

I don’t understand why some dogs bark at all other dogs. I don’t understand how anyone would think Donald Trump should be the actual president. I don’t understand why it’s harder to lose weight than it is to lose your mind. I don’t understand whether it’s better to have high expectations or low. I don’t understand why people judge one another so harshly. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to recognize our shared humanity.  

On Running Late

I woke up 15 minutes early this morning in an attempt to not be late, because for the last few weeks, it seems that every day we (my teenage son and I) leave later and later. And so I thought today, I will not get on my phone right out of the shower. Because I love to lay back down in bed right out of the shower and grab my phone. But that always makes me late. Because if I get on my phone, somehow like one minute turns into 15 mintues. And then I get dressed, and then I make the lunches, and then I put my makeup on, and then I’m late. So today I thought I would make our lunches before I got dressed for work. And not get on my phone. I started to bring my lunch to work recently in an effort to eat less crap (carbs and processed foods). So now I make a lettuce wrap, apple slices, a bag of nuts and a bag of veggies for myself and I make a sandwich …

My Disappearance

Over the course of the last two years, my life has been in flux. I moved 1600 miles away from my home, my oldest son and my best friend.  I left a 25-year marriage.  I gave up a 10-year career.  I have ceased to be a presence in a number of people’s lives, and they have ceased to be a presence in mine. To some who love me, or used to love me, some friends, some relatives, quite a few colleagues and coworkers, and a handful of neighbors, in a way, I have disappeared. I no longer live next door. I no longer work with you. I no longer see you in the coffee shop each morning. You no longer read my words. You no longer stop in my office on your way down the hall. You no longer consider me your sister-in-law or your wife. We are no longer Facebook friends. I am no longer your lunch buddy or your team member. You no longer wave hello. You don’t see me at church. You don’t see me walking my …

Seek Not for Love

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.–A Course in Miracles My task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it. My task is not to seek for creativity, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it. My task is not to seek for health, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it. My task is not to seek for friendship, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it. My task is not to seek for fortune, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have built against it. My task is not to seek for energy, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within myself that I have …

Climbing the Mountain

Today was my tenth hike up this mountain. It is a 1567 foot climb in elevation, a 4 mile loop. It’s hard for me to climb this mountain. I am 50 lbs. overweight. I have asthma. I am not yet as fit as I want to be. But I did it. And that makes me feel really good. Not everyone climbed a mountain today.  But I did. One day I may be one of those people who run up this mountain, or one of the ones who can carry a conversation right up to the top, or one of the ones who appear to barely break a sweat. But right now, I am the one stopping every few minutes to catch her breath. I am the one letting others pass. I am the one wondering if my legs will give out. I am the one stopping to use my inhaler. I am also the one taking in every ounce of refreshment from that cool breeze, and I am, quite possibly, one of the most grateful …

Critic, move on

I had just sat down to write in my journal, but my thoughts were scattered and I was starting to feel pressured by the clock. I only had 45 minutes before I needed to leave. I hadn’t writen anything today.  I was thinking I should, but I didn’t. I was down on myself for “wasting” the morning away. “I’m a f**king idiot who has nothing to offer.”  That’s what I just heard myself tell myself.  WTF?  What am I going to do with the merciless judge and jury in my head? Should I sit here and try to gather evidence that I am worthwhile? Should I debate the point? Should I make a list of my good qualities and try to convince myself that I actually do helpful and meaningful things and some people like me. I am not an idiot. And I do have something to offer. But for some reason, this inspector general is never satisfied. It always wants more. More more more more more more more. Should I distract myself from this …

Today I’ll defer to the dog

  My inner critic has run amuck, haranguing me with disapproval. I am resisting its critique of my worthiness and capabilities. Then I remember, don’t resist. What you resist persists. Observe without attachment. Observe without attachment. But I have attached and internalized its assessment of me. I’ve got to shake this mood. Take a walk. I grab the leash. The dog is so happy he knocks himself over with his exuberant tail wagging. We take off down the street–a mile and a half round the corner, up the hill and back. The sun is shining. The weather is perfect. We both feel good and happy and fulfilled. I am back to work. He naps on the floor beside me. For the rest of the day, I’ll defer to the dog’s judgment of my worthiness. He thinks I’m pretty spiffy. What else do I need? Weekly Writing Challenge: Lunch Post 

Frustrated? Take a gratitude break.

First published on Huffington Post, June 25, 2013. Is there someone in your life whose mere presence drives you crazy? Has a certain situation got you all stirred up, but you’re not sure how to fix it? Have you ever been completely convinced you were right, yet no one else seems to care? Yes! Yes! And yes! We’ve all been there. And how do we usually handle it when we are bothered and frustrated and can’t seem to shake it off? Maybe some of these strategies sound familiar: We play out the complaint, the conversation, or the annoying behavior in our minds repeatedly. We bitch and moan to anyone who will listen until they agree with our point of view. We try to fix the problem by analyzing every detail, every possible scenario. We have an imaginary conversation with the object of our discontent — a few hundred times — until we are convinced we know how it is all going to play out. While these strategies may make us feel good for a moment …

Don’t Think. Get Up!

First published on Huffington Post, January 2, 2013. Where do you fall with the New Year’s resolutions question? Are you a fan? There is certainly an argument to be made that resolutions are not particularly effective or that they assume we need to be different than we are — thinner, better, richer, wiser — to be happy or feel fulfilled. I agree that it is easy to miss the mark when setting New Year’s resolutions, but I can’t resist the temptation to set them. I love any opportunity for a fresh start. I keep my resolutions affirmative. My aim is not to resolve to be better than I am, but to be as good as I am — allowing myself to grow into my divine purpose and potential. As I set my goals, I include an intention, affirming the qualities I am willing to be. My goals look something like this: Goal: I am developing a habit of daily exercise and healthy, conscious eating. Intention affirmation: I am fit, healthy, and beautiful. Goals like this work for …